In 1 Cor 7, Paul writes: 3 Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Cor 7:3-5 NASB)
He’s basically saying the wise thing to do is meet each others physical needs as husband and wife. Sexual intimacy is one of the most important aspects of marriage and God designed this to take place between a man & a woman who are married. Anything outside of this is considered sexual immorality and Scripture says to flee from sexual immorality.
In 1 Cor 7:6, Paul says he makes these statements by way of permission, not by way of command. In other words, he’s not commanding these followers of Christ to do this; rather he’s saying they should (ie – the wise thing to do).
Here are a couple of other suggestions I’d make to you if you want to develop a red hot relationship with your spouse.
a. Maintain a red-hot relationship personally with God – not surface, but real where you’re applying His Word consistently – dying to self
b. Maintain a red-hot friendship with your spouse – do things you enjoy doing together on a consistent basis – have some fun – talk
c. Maintain a great prayer-life – as Charlie Shedd used to say – “Great prayer leads to great sex.” b/c the greater your intimacy the greater the sex.
d. Husbands – die to yourself – have the attitude of Christ – and practice loving her in the manner that Christ loved His church
e. Wives – die to yourself – follow the diretion of Christ – and practice showing respect to your husband consistently
f. Have a regularly scheduled date night and plan a vacation or special times away – without the kids
g. Worship together and get plugged into a great church; get into a small group where there’s some level of accountability for your marriage.
h. Listen to cds or mp3s of great messages on marriage as a consistent reminder of what God has said.
i. Remove the word “divorce” from your vocabulary
j. When you come to an empasse or a point of struggle you can’t seem to get over – seek godly counsel – get some help !
This isn’t an exhaustive list – but is worth considering !
PS – JOIN THE CONVERSATION – I’D LOVE TO KNOW SOME OF THE THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN GREAT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE – REPLY HERE!
Great message Pastor BJ! I think one of the things that has really helped our marriage is that we talk a lot. About everything. I am blessed to have married a man who is a talker and likes to communicate. 🙂 I see so many women who get mad about something their spouse does, but they keep it in until they blow up. Get it out there (in a loving, safe conversation time), no matter how small and let your spouse know how it makes you feel. I think a little “relationship amnesia” is good too. I have also been blessed with a brain that doesn’t remember a movie 30 minutes after I’ve seen it. I also can’t remember why I was mad at Travis 2 days after I was mad. Move on after you’ve had your discussion and don’t bring up past hurts.
Thank you for encouraging us in our marriages!