I posed a question on Social Media recently:  “Why do you think it’s so difficult to find and keep true friends in our culture?”   I can only post a few of the many responses here; but there’s some interesting insight in the answers I received from all ages.  NOTE:  The question said nothing about social media, but many of the responses did.  The answers are also not offering solutions, but you can draw some conclusions from them.   Here are a few more of your responses.


We’ve become a society that is more interested in “likes” than relationships. We want instant gratification because that’s what we are used to with social media, and genuine friendships take time to develop…and who has time for that?

Unrealistic expectations or expectations at all (I can’t expect my friends to act or react like I do–I used to think they had to put as much or more into our friendship as I did–not so, it is my choice how much I give to a friendship and have no right to expect anything from them)  It makes life so much easier, not putting those expectations on them.  Unconditional love is great but I’ve only found that with family and one or two very close friends.  Understanding personalities is BIG and very helpful.

Lack of trust which leads to being fake or dishonest. The feeling of competition between people instead of acceptance.

True friendships take time to maintain.  We get busy with day to day activities and responsibilities, that at the end of the day, we lack the energy to make the effort on the friends.

People are fearful of being truly authentic. Then others are hurting so deeply, they share with perfect strangers. The art of true and lasting friendship has been left behind in the midst of all the have-to’s, the deception of shame/guilt and a refusal to ask forgiveness and technology that is not by any means all bad, but keeps face-to-face conversations few and far between.


About bjrutledge

BJ & Janet were married in July 1977 They have three grown children who are all married: Jeremy & Whitney Rutledge, Chris & Julie Hurst, and Josh and Hannah Rutledge. They also have five grandsons, and a granddaughter. BJ says perhaps our greatest legacy is even though our kids are PK's, they love Jesus and are all involved in ministry in the local church. BJ has served at churches in Dallas - Bossier City, LA - Houston - and was at Fellowship of the Woodlands (Woodlands Church) in The Woodlands before coming to Grace Fellowship. BJ is the Legacy Pastor at Grace Fellowship Church in Paradise, TX.
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