In my reading from What Radical Husbands Do by Regi Campbell this morning, I was engaged with his chapter on acceptance and criticism. This book is about the role of husbands in marriage and I double dog dare you guys (men) to read it.
I was even more engaged with this chapter because we’re in a series right now called MY BIG FAT MOUTH and two weeks ago my message was on CRITICISM.
In the message I said: “Look – I understand constructive criticism & ask for it from our staff here at Grace. But True Constructive Criticism comes from pure motives. It includes good timing & tone, an element of encouragement & always has the best interests of the other person in mind.”
In other words, I want them to tell me when I’m wearing something that doesn’t work well with the camera or when I use churchy words that may not make sense to people. I want them to tell me when an illustration doesn’t work well or something didn’t make sense. I want to be a better communicator. However, I wouldn’t like it if they said YOU really stunk it up today and listed all the things they thought I did wrong (like the two young men I talked about in my message on criticism). I guess the most important thing here is that I’m much more open when a relationship of trust exists.
What I read from Regi even challenged this. He made the simple statement that “criticism stems from judgment” and when you’re critical you set yourself up as the judge. Regi also said: “Criticism requires a standard of comparison” and there’s rarely an objective standard of comparison.
I think it’s difficult for us to offer true constructive criticism because we don’t have an objective standard of comparison. In light of this, we’d all do better to hold our tongue when it comes to criticism and use it wisely by dishing out a lot of affirmation and acceptance.
I know we have to evaluate things and have standards, but Jesus words need to be in the center of our minds and hearts each day… Jesus said: “’Do not judge others, and you will not be judged…The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.’” Matthew 7:1-2 NLT
Just my random thoughts from this morning.